Three Tips for Managing Financial Anxiety

If you’ve ever struggled with financial anxiety, you’re not alone—

I’ve been there too.

Money worries have been a recurring theme in my life, but over the years, I’ve learned tools to help me navigate those moments of fear and overwhelm.

In this post, I’m sharing three tips that have been game-changers for me. They’re simple, effective, and have made a big difference in how I approach financial matters.

I hope they help you too.

Tip 1: Get Physical to Reset Your Nervous System

One of the first things I learned about managing financial anxiety is the importance of movement. There have been so many times I’ve felt paralyzed at the thought of looking at my finances or tackling something like a negotiation. What I’ve discovered is that moving my body—even just a short walk around the block or a quick set of squats—helps shift that frozen, overwhelmed feeling.

Here’s why: movement triggers the release of mood-boosting hormones like serotonin. It also helps calm the “fight or flight” response in your nervous system, making it easier to think clearly. For me, getting my heart rate up even a little before diving into financial tasks creates space for calm and focus.

So next time you’re gearing up to look at your bank statements or tackle financial planning, try a few minutes of intentional movement first. You might be surprised at how much it helps.

Tip 2: Set the Initial Conditions for Success

I’ve also learned how much my environment impacts my ability to approach financial tasks without feeling overwhelmed. If I’m hungry, tired, or just not in a good headspace, even the simplest financial task feels impossible. Over time, I realized that setting myself up for success starts with creating the right initial conditions.

For me, this might look like:

• Putting on my favorite fuzzy sweater to feel safe and grounded.

• Making a cup of licorice tea (it’s like a hug in a mug).

• Using orange essential oil because the scent instantly lifts my spirits and makes me feel abundant.

These little rituals help me feel more relaxed and remind my nervous system that I’m safe. When I’m in a state of comfort and ease, it’s so much easier to focus, stay on task, and approach money with patience and curiosity.

What makes you feel safe, warm, and ready?

Try creating your own “goldilocks conditions” before diving into financial matters—it can make a huge difference.

Tip 3: Seek Support to Decrease Shame and Increase Discernment

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn, but also the most transformative: it’s okay to ask for help. For years, I believed I had to figure out money stuff on my own — but all that did was deepen my anxiety and shame. Reaching out for support was a game-changer.

When I started talking to trusted people—friends who love spreadsheets, my coach, and even communities of like-minded folks—I noticed two things:

1. My shame began to melt away.

2. My ability to make thoughtful, discerning financial decisions improved.

We’re not meant to handle everything alone.

If financial anxiety is weighing on you, think about who in your life might be a good source of support. It could be a friend who geeks out on investing, a therapist who can help normalize your feelings, or a coach who offers practical tools. The most important thing is to recognize that you’re not alone.

If you’re looking for a supportive community, consider joining the upcoming Embodied Money Trauma Reset (EMTR) 101.

Over six weeks, starting January 28, 2025, we’ll explore how the nervous system impacts your relationship with money, why earning more isn’t always the answer, and how to approach financial well-being from a trauma-informed, somatic perspective.

Final Thoughts

These tips—moving your body, creating the right conditions, and seeking support—have been so helpful to me as I’ve worked through my own financial anxiety. They’re simple, but they’ve made a world of difference.

If you’re feeling stuck, start small. Even one intentional action can begin to shift how you feel about money. And remember: you don’t have to face this alone.

(EMTR) 101: Embodied Money Trauma Reset is now open for enrollment for a limited time. Class begins January 28th, 2025. Get the details and save your spot.

Embodied Money Trauma Reset: A Fresh Start for 2025

What if the stress or avoidance you feel around money wasn’t just about finances but tied to your body’s nervous system responses?

The Embodied Money Trauma Reset (EMTR) 101, a six-week virtual course with Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Felina Danalis, invites you to explore this connection and reframe your relationship with money.

Here’s what you can expect:

• Understand your patterns: Discover how past experiences influence your financial behaviors.

• Learn embodiment practices: Use somatic techniques to create ease and clarity.

• Cultivate financial resilience: Develop tools to feel empowered and aligned with your financial decisions.

• 6 Weekly online sessions: Join a supportive group starting January 30, 2025.

Whether money feels like a source of anxiety or confusion, this course offers a safe, supportive space to reset and realign.

Take the first step toward financial empowerment.

Learn more and sign up here.

This course is co-sponsored by Johns Hopkins University. Registration is now open for a limited time only. Click here to enroll.

Global Tech Meltdown? Here are some top trauma-informed travel tips to keep you sane

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A post shared by Felina Danalis, M.A., S.E.P. (@fdanalis)

In this video from a recent #IGLive, I share some #trauma-informed travel tips.

As I was #grounded from travel for a number of days (thanks CrowdStrike), I thought I'd share with you some #tips that support me in staying #regulated during unprecedented times.

Try these and see what works for you:

🔥 Focus on what you can control
🔥 Ask for what you need
🔥 Wear clothes with pockets to keep your hands free especially those that are versatile and washable (tech fibers don't smell so athleisure gear can be great)
🔥 Pack and use essentials oils like peppermint and lavender
🔥 Watch caffeine intake especially if you are a sensitive sleeper
🔥 Bring magnesium and Passionflower to help you sleep (and avoid dehydrating alcohol if possible as it does disturb sleep)
🔥Travel in comfy walking shoes ideally closed toed (especially when weather is unpredictable and your standing in lines fir hours)
🔥 Keep a list of things you need to buy on your phone (so if you have to buy stuff on travel, you can purchase #sustainably, avoid #fastfashion and keep things out of landfill that you will toss)
🔥 Always have a bit of moisturizer and lip balm on carry on
🔥 Make copies of your prescriptions
🔥 Focus on gratitude
🔥 Social engagement can be very helpful so talk to people
🔥 Help others - being proactive (within reason and respecting your own boundaries) - can be greatly empowering as it is an active nervous system response that can move us out of freeze

Not all of these will be relevant for everyone to be sure. (because yes, indeed, it is a #privilege to fly that most of the world doesn't have access to). But hopefully at least some of these can be added to your toolkit for travel and #wellbeing.

#IGlive #traumainformed #travel #global #Microsoft #outage #GlobalIt #CrowdStrike #corporateprofit #Kloten #sustainability #nervoussystemregulation #traumahealing #resilience #redundancies #Zurich #airport #somatics #somaticexperiencing #somaticexperiencingpracitioner

My (Three) Favorite Things in a Serious Crisis

This is the blog post I never wanted to write. 

Picture it:

One moment I’m in nature under gloriously scented pines, reveling in the crisp air, smelling intoxicating coffees percolating at surrounding campsites, hearing the laughter of families and friends on a holiday weekend. The next, a massive fire truck and ambulance are there to tend to my injuries after a brutal, inescapable attack from a canine.

With more and more people turning to somatic modalities for healing stress, anxiety and trauma, (not to mention chronic sleep difficulties, digestive issues, autoimmune conditions and relationship and boundary issues), it’s often easy to overlook how transformative these somatic modalities can be when shock trauma happens.

In a situation of inescapable attack - like with an unpredictable animal, or being robbed at knifepoint or a sexual assault - the nature of the threat is such that it’s often impossible to fight or flee, our first lines of protective responses. When those options don’t work, freeze is often the only other life-saving option available. And while helpful in the short-run, over the long run unless those defensive orienting responses are completed in the nervous system, serious complications can arise. 

In this blog post, I share three things I recently did when faced with an inescapable attack to mitigate the likelihood of developing symptoms of post-traumatic stress. 

1. Physical support

When I was attacked by a 70 lb dog earlier this year, as good fortune would have it, a park ranger was coming around the bend on a golf cart and saw the whole thing. He asked what I needed and my training as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner kicked in. When experiencing a shock trauma, the human nervous system needs to co-regulate with another system if at all possible. Intuitively, I asked the kind ranger to place his hand on my shoulder and keep it there for a while. 

By doing so, my body avoided going into overwhelm. It trembled and shook, and the supportive physical contact helped my nervous system feel contained. 

Later, while we waited for the paramedics to arrive, the other ranger Paige and I sat together back to back. (Also - big shout out to both her and John for their wise compassionate care!)

Because our mammalian nervous system is like that of other animals, our bodies know we are safe and the ordeal is over when we can experience that kind of supportive, non-judgmental physical contact. 

Just like you will intuitively kiss a child’s boo boo, offering physical contact in the moment can do a lot to prevent the development of long term symptoms (like in my case avoiding places where there are large dogs or going camping again, a common symptom of unresolved post-traumatic stress).

It certainly did for my system.

2. Singing 

As we waited for care to arrive on the narrow mountain road under the majestic trees, I was reminded of and started spontaneously singing the childhood classic “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music: 

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I’m feeling sad,

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so bad!

And while the lyrics were helpful, what was really powerful was that my nervous system was naturally reaching for a very wise strategy.

The vagus nerve, the largest nerve in the body, contributes greatly to our self-regulation. The ability to calm down when we are too agitated – but also to reach for the healthy aggression that can often help protect us – is all related to the functioning of this massive nerve. Things that help support vagal tone including humming, chanting and singing, and spontaneous social engagement.

By singing, not only was my mind distracted from the blood gushing down my leg and the searing pain (Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles), but I was able to discharge some of the build up of energy that could have easily lead to an anxiety or panic attack or even shock, a critical condition brought on by the sudden drop in blood flow through the body. 

Plus when Paige joined in and sang with me, I actually had a moment of relief in what could have been an utterly terrifying and isolating experience. (Remember one definition of trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond).

Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond.

By discharging the high level of energy in my system in a conscious way supported by presence, I was able to advocate for myself and hopefully prevent further traumatization (which often happens after a shocking incident like a car accident, fall, or dog bite).

3. Social engagement

After experiencing some physical support with contact from the park rangers, followed by the singing, there was one more piece that helped me regulate enough to be able to think clearly.

When the massive fire truck and paramedics arrived, I let the folks near me know it was important to speak in low voices. I also gently let them know that, despite the fact that it was a sunny summer morning, I needed the emergency response folks who were helping me to take off their sunglasses to make eye contact with me. 

(I should add that it was wonderful, empowering and affirming that they did - and not something I took for granted or would have necessarily happened for others, unfortunately). 

Again, because we are mammals, the need for contact with other mammals of the same species was incredibly helpful to my limbic system and other subcortical brain structures. These are the parts of the brain that keep our hearts beating, our lungs pumping and keep us alive with no conscious effort on our part. 

This system (the autonomic nervous system) is what is keeping you alive all day every day. 

Because eye contact is one of the primary ways we attach to other human beings for safety (check out what a baby does when there is a loud sound - it will often orient to the eyes of the primary caregiver), it’s incredibly helpful. If you’ve ever tried to have an intimate conversation with someone wearing sunglasses or glued to their phone and felt really uncomfortable, this is why. 

By simply letting folks know that my nervous system needed low voices and eye contact (kind of like a vulnerable baby does), the experience of medical intervention was far less jarring and traumatic.

While I certainly would have preferred to enjoy an easy weekend of camping, by having these somatic tools in my back pocket and using them, I’m hopeful I’ll continue to recover from my injuries. 

I hope you’ll reflect on these tools for regulation and how you might use them not only in a crisis, but in your daily life - at home, at work, on vacation and with the populations you serve. By doing so, you are taking an active role in your own healing and that of us all.

Let me know how it goes!

Ready to take the next step in your healing? The Refuge of Boundaries experience is coming in the fall of 2023. Click here to get on the list and be the first to know when doors open. 

Three Things You Need to Know About Boundaries

In this blog post, we’ll explore:

• What are healthy boundaries?

• The role of the nervous system

• Dos and Don’ts of boundary setting

While learning how to create and maintain healthy boundaries is a life-long practice and skill for many, there are a few things that you need to know to get started.

• What are healthy boundaries?

Healthy physical, emotional, financial, sexual, personal and spiritual boundaries are fundamentally about safety, respect and containment. At their best, like the skin, healthy boundaries allow what is nurturing and nourishing to come in, and keep out all the rest.

When boundaries are functioning best, they are firm and flexible. 

But what does it look like when our boundaries aren’t so ideal?

We might have walls for protection, meaning we block out any contact or incoming energy. On the other hand, we may adapt by having extremely porous boundaries where we basically take in everything around us without a filter. Both of these adaptations may be helpful at times, but healing trauma invites us to look towards cultivating boundaries that can take in a helpful amount and type of energetic information, and protect us from anything that isn’t.

For example, you might go through a painful divorce or breakup and say “Never again!” to dating or romantic relationships. That’s an example of a wall. 

Or maybe you can’t say no when your kids ask you for something or you spend money on stuff after you’ve promised yourself (yet again) not to do that. Those are examples of more porous boundaries. 

Now there’s nothing wrong with using walls or the absence of them. In fact, they are both common after we’ve experienced trauma - and one of the most common symptoms I see in my Somatic Experiencing clients.  They are in fact life saving. But when we can strengthen our boundaries - being more flexible where we are rigid and more solid where we are open - we can have many more choices and opportunities to thrive personally and professionally. 

We move from fixity to flow, rigidity to choice, compulsion to curiosity. 

• The role of the nervous system

Along with our cultural environment, our brain and nervous system are among the primary creators of our boundaries. 

Different systems in the brain relate to different parts of our energetic boundary system. 

Our physical boundaries are related to our skin and the most ancient part of the brain. The brain scans the environment (approximately four times per second in fact) to make sure our skin isn’t being touched in a way that is harmful or dangerous. This scanning is automatic in our brain stem, just as it is in the reptiles and our evolutionary elders. 

Our emotional and psychological boundaries are related to our limbic system, the subcortical structures of the brain. Our psychological boundaries are formed when we are children. When there is proper attunement and mirroring of our emotional landscape, we learn what our emotional identity is, and how it is different from those around us. 

For example, a two-year old having a tantrum might be offered a reflection, “Oh, it looks like you’re mad. You want to play with your toy, don’t you? It’s ok to be mad and right now it’s time for you to get dressed.” The child learns about the emotion “mad”, that it’s ok to feel that way, and that it is her feeling – no one else’s. With regular attunement, the child’s brain learns to know that her feelings and thoughts are ok, and to differentiate from those in her environment. She isn’t enmeshed with the feelings of those around her, but can clearly see where she starts and ends.

These psychological boundaries also allow in information that is true and keep out what isn’t. For example, if you’re told you are a blue truck, you might be able to keep that information out - because you know very well that you aren’t. 

Finally, our ability to keep our word to ourselves and practice impulse control (what might be called a containing boundary) is situated in the neocortex, the newest and most uniquely human part of the brain. This thin layer of gray matter is active when we keep to our commitment to finish the project rather than binging on Netflix, put down the phone and get a good night’s sleep rather than scrolling social media and finish one project before starting the next.

Knowing about the role of the brain and nervous system is helpful for generating compassion with ourselves when learning about boundaries. These adaptations took some time to develop, and they require time to evolve. The good news though is that with attention and intention - coupled with the miracle of neuroplasticity - our nervous system and boundaries can become more functional and life-affirming.

• Dos and Don’ts of boundary setting

Once we’ve established physical, psychological and personal boundaries, next up we can begin the practice of creating and maintaining them in our relationships. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that, if we aren’t first able to honor these foundational internal boundaries, it will be nearly impossible to have them with others. So to get started with setting limits with others, we have to begin even closer to home – with ourselves.

Yes you heard that right - don’t even try to set boundaries with your colleagues at work or your mother, if you haven’t first cultivated your own personal boundaries. 

In other words, when you can respect your physical integrity (and that of others), your emotional self (and the emotions or psychology of those around you without being unduly impacted) and your internal commitments (like when you say you are going to meditate every day for 20 minutes), you can then begin to communicate and execute boundaries far more effectively with others. 

Here are a few tips to get you started. 

DO: 

• Learn about boundaries

• Practice 

• Start with yourself

• Let go of the quick-fix

• Begin with the low hanging fruit 

• Take the win

• Get support

DON’T

• Start with the most challenging relationships

• Ask other people to do for you what you aren’t doing for yourself

• Make threats you won’t carry out

Generating healthy boundaries is one of the best things we can do for our physical, emotional, financial and spiritual health, and most of us need a little help along the way. 

If you’d like to strengthen your boundaries, reach out to a mental health provider, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, trauma-informed coach or find a class. There are so many ways to to support your growth in this way — just find your way to get started. Whether it’s cognitively (by reading blog posts and books), somatically (through embodied practices) or experientially (through trial and error), you can heal and transform your boundaries for better health, relationships and financial abundance. By learning about healthy boundaries, the role or your nervous system and the dos and dont’s of boundary setting, you are already on your way.

THE REFUGE OF BOUNDARIES experience IS NOW OPEn for registration for a limited time. join us for our first live session on may 11th. click here for the details & to register.