{QUIZ} 7 Questions For Your Healing Journey

If you’ve been on a path of personal growth and transformation for a while, it can be easy to forget how far you’ve come or to assess your progress.

Similarly, if you are just beginning your journey of healing mind-body-spirit, you might be wondering where to begin.

This short (by no means comprehensive) quiz can help you get a better sense of where you are, and the areas of attention you might want to explore.

(Plus, who doesn’t love a good quiz?)

Have fun with it, be gentle with yourself and check out the additional resources below!

Subtle Energy Anatomy

Assessment Quiz 

1. Do you have difficulty trusting others, have chronic illness or experience a lack of prosperity and stability in your life? 

2. Do you frequently become overwhelmed by your emotions or, conversely, have a hard time expressing them at all? 

3. Does your sense of self-esteem or self-confidence come from your career, looks, body, income, relationships or anything else that can be taken away from you rather than your relationship with Source?

4. Do you tend to give more in relationships than you receive, have a hard time asking for help or truly forgiving those that have harmed you?

5. Do you have difficulty speaking your truth, especially to those you are intimate with or with authority figures?

6. Do you have tons of ideas but rarely bring them into fruition or spend lots of time engaging in fantasy to the detriment of building the life your heart desires?

7. Do you love to read and collect information but fail to apply it in your life (in other words, are you frequently up in your head)?

If you answered yes to one or two of these questions, it might be helpful to learn more about your energetic anatomy. 

If you answered yes to three or more, you would likely benefit from learning more about how your mind, body and spirit are connected through the subtle energy body and joining the Eastern Body Western Mind Book Study Group.

4 Ways Yoga Helps Trauma Healing

Research and anecdotal evidence both suggest yoga is beneficial for all kinds of things: physical strength, balance and flexibility, relief of neck and back pain, better sleep, and more.

What fewer people realize, is that yoga can also be a powerful ally in the healing of relational, shock and systemic trauma.

Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD, is a clinical psychiatrist whose work attempts to integrate mind, brain, body, and social connections to understand and treat trauma. He is the author of The New York Times bestselling book The Body Keeps the Score and writes:

When people think about trauma, they generally think of it as a historical event that happened some time ago. Trauma is actually the residue from the past as it settles into your body. It’s located inside your own skin. When people are traumatized, they become afraid of their physical sensations; their breathing becomes shallow, and they become uptight and frightened about what they’re feeling inside. When you slow down your breathing with yoga, you can increase your heart rate variability, and that decreases stress. Yoga opens you up to feeling every aspect of your body’s sensations. It’s a gentle, safe way for people to befriend their bodies, where the trauma of the past is stored.

In this video, I share just a few of the many ways yoga helps the healing of trauma.

4 Ways Yoga Helps Trauma Healing

1. Yoga can alleviate pain and discomfort in the body.

For many people, emotional pain can also be physically painful.

As Nikki Myers says, “Our issues live in our tissues.” Yoga can be extremely helpful to relieve some of that pain, especially if you are doing a gentle, trauma-informed yoga practice.

If you’re in severe grief or emotional pain – whether because of the death of a loved one, a break up, or the latest mass shooting – those 15-30 minutes on the yoga mat can be a blessing of (non-addictive) pain-relief. 

2. Yoga can reduce the physical tension in the body which often causes us to be reactive.

Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond. When we experience difficult events, our bodies produce a series of chemicals. If we are lucky enough to process the event and our big emotions in the moment, it often passes without leaving a long-term residue on our nervous system. 

But if there’s no time to process those big feelings - and discharge those chemicals - they often end up turning into the tension we experience in our bodies. Yoga helps us let go of the physical tension and the old emotions that can cause us to be reactive in our relationships, at work and in our public lives.

Feeling the feelings isn’t always fun, but for our long-term health and well-being it’s a must.

3. Practicing yoga can be a chance to learn about, cultivate and use boundaries.

When I went to my first yoga classes many years ago, I was definitely not a fan. 

I was comparing myself to everyone in the room and couldn’t keep up. I felt so awkward. It took me many years to find yoga that was my jam …

And what a teacher taught me was that, if i was in yoga thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow or next week, I wasn’t practicing good boundaries. That really got me curious. 

The invitation was to keep my focus on what was actually happening on my yoga mat. So I started to actually notice when something was causing me to take my attention from what was happening right there in the room.

This is so important because folks who experience stress, anxiety and trauma (and especially folks in the helping professions or people who are givers), often have boundaries that aren’t necessarily strong and healthy. Maybe we over give or over share and then feel ashamed we did that. Or we have difficulty saying no.

That’s certainly been part of my journey. 

So on the yoga mat (or chair), it’s a great chance to practice boundaries and keep coming back to what’s actually happening right here in the moment. As we practice bringing our awareness to our sensations, breath, thoughts and emotions that are on the mat, we are learning to cultivate boundaries. This is important because if our boundaries are intact, we can respond to the challenges of life in a much more proactive way and avoid becoming victimized again.

4. When practiced with mindfulness, it can be a way of learning about and accepting yourself exactly the way you are. 

If you compare yourself to other people - and are either the best in the room or the worst - you’re probably also lacking in self-compassion. Learning mindful self-acceptance is a huge game changer - especially if you are looking to change. 

Why? 

Because shame (a tool many of us use to whip ourselves into shape) never causes anyone to make sustainable long-term healthy changes. Let’s face it - if it worked, you wouldn’t be here reading this looking for another approach. 

So when we bring a spirit of non-judgmental acceptance of ourselves exactly the way we are, and truly practice self-compassion and self-acceptance, we can also be much more accepting and inclusive of others.

And a BONUS …. 

If you want to see the world become a place where there’s greater justice, equality, opportunity for all regardless of race, religion, gender, ability, class, sexual orientation, or any other element of identity, then you know compassion and acceptance of yourself is the beginning of compassion and acceptance for others. Among the best ways you can contribute to making the world a better place, is with self-acceptance and self-compassion. You’ve heard it said again and again but we truly must be the change we want to see in the world!

If you’re looking to transform stress, anxiety and trauma into resilience, I hope these four ways yoga can help will inspire you to take the self-care actions you need to thrive. After all, you deserve it!

My Top 5 Travel Tips

After years of travel restrictions, if you’re like many people I’ve been talking to recently, you’re probably itching to get back on the road.

As a bicultural life-long traveler, former diplomat and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, I’ve learned a few things about how to travel in a way that supports well-being. 

Whether it’s a 7 week-long road trip to the National Parks across the U.S., a flight to visit family and friends back in Europe, camping in Joshua Tree or a trip to the big city for a weeklong training, I’ve made every travel mistake possible and learned a thing or two along the way.

Here are My Top 5 Travel Tips This Summer 

1. Minimize salt intake the day before travel

Travel and bloating seem to go together, like tomatoes and cucumbers in a Greek salad.

Reducing sodium content before flying helps keep it to a minimum. (This means you will never EVER find me eating sushi the night before a long-flight as tempting as it may be - the soy sauce is guaranteed to make me feel like I’m about to pop out of my skin.)

Trust me on this one - it can make all the difference, especially if you are hydrating with lots of pure, fresh water. Walk away from the salty treats and you won’t regret it.

2.Bring peppermint essential oil

Funny smells and travel go hand in hand. For me, the smell of jet engine fuel can definitely make me feel queasy. And as my beloved likes to say, I’m perhaps the only Greek who gets sea-sick so this is no joke (especially when you’ve got your head in a bag on a flight or over the rails of a ship).

Enter peppermint essential oil to the rescue.

A trick I’ve learned is to pop a couple of cotton balls soaked with a few drops of it into a plastic baggie. That way if something smells funky, I can just open up the baggie, take a deep inhalation and feel so much better. (Pro tip: It’s also more respectful to other folks nearby who might have allergies or sensitivities to smells). 

Now this won’t take away all motion sickness, but it definitely helps me feel clearer and more refreshed, especially after red-eye flights.

3. Eat the same breakfast every day

Let’s face it: one of the best things about travel is the food. 

Trying different exotic foods or eating family favorites you wouldn’t ordinarily eat at home any more is one of life’s great pleasures. But if you’re gone for more than a few days – especially if you’re in a hotel and eating out all the time – multiple exotic meals a day can be a bit much.

That’s why I love to have the same thing everyday for breakfast when I travel. 

Physically, it’s a way of making sure I get healthy protein, practice portion control and have the energy to do the exploring I came to do.

Emotionally, there’s also something super comforting for my inner child who can sometimes feel a bit anxious when we aren’t home or in a new environment. Kids do better with routines for a reason. While they aren’t what I would eat for breakfast at home and are processed, on the road I love protein bars (Kind Protein Breakfast Bars are good) or Fage yogurt with honey and almonds, both great go-to options. Combined with the best decaf latte I can find, this is a winning breakfast that’ll keep me satisfied for the morning's activities, whether exploring the Louvre or sitting in a class on trauma-healing.

4. Get some movement before boarding the plane

If you’ve got a long drive or flight ahead of you, one of the best things you can do for your mental, physical and emotional well-being is get some movement beforehand. 

The truth is stuff happens when you travel - and not all of it’s fabulous: missing baggage, changing covid regulations, flight delays, proximity to other people who might have different preferences from yours, etc. Taking the time to get in some movement though is a game changer. It can be a short walk in the terminal, some yoga before leaving the house or even some basic pushups, squats or neck rolls. Getting some oxygen, blood and endorphins going along with cardio has also been shown to help with travel anxiety and emotional stability.

For me, waking up early to get in this movement is key to ensuring that my mood is better and I’m more resilient to the inevitable travel stuff that happens. If I can do this walk in nature, it’s even better. I consider it paying it forward to my fellow travelers (‘cause no one wants to sit next to the cranky, achy, whiny person!) as well as setting myself up for greater travel well-being.

(Bonus tip: Book a hotel where you can walk. On a recent trip to San Francisco, because I knew I would be seated all day in my Somatic Experiencing trainings with my teacher Peter Levine, I found a hotel just 2 miles away. That way I had a great walk before class and afterwards. It was fantastic to get that movement in, both physically as well as for processing the material I had learned. If you can book a hotel where you can walk to your destination (and even better a sustainable hotel) by all means consider doing it. Better for you, better for the environment which travel isn’t always mindful of).

5. Throw a travel yoga mat in your suitcase

Sitting on a transcontinental flight can be uncomfortable in the best of circumstances. Between the canned air, the smells, the salty-greasy food in airports, the lack of outdoor access and the sheer impact on the body of moving across geographies, flying especially can be hard on the body. Particularly if you already have chronic health conditions.

I’ve found travel to be far more pleasant when I throw in a lightweight yoga mat into my suitcase (I got mine from Manduka ). Getting on my mat after I land helps to ground me in my body again and to release the tension from being cramped up for so many hours. Even a few minutes on my mat in the morning or evening can really make a difference in how I respond to the travel itinerary of the day. 

Travel is one of life’s great joys. There’s no reason why it can’t be a source of all around well-being, too. Remember, you don’t have to leave your wellness practices and routines at home.

I hope you enjoyed my top 5 travel tips.

Buon viaggio!

6 Steps to Saner Holidays: Better Boundary Boosters

Several weeks ago, a client of mine asked a million dollar question:

“How do I set boundaries without being a jerk and in a way that’s aligned with my values?”

Oh girl. I feel you. Boy do I feel you! 

This is such an important question, especially during this time of year. With sometimes competing demands from friends and family - plus the pull to indulge in all the things you can eat, drink, buy and consume - creating and maintaining healthy boundaries during the pressure of the holidays isn’t easy. 

But it can be done with a little practice, a whole lot of patience and a dollop of self-compassion. This is one place where perfectionism isn’t helpful so see if you can drop that tool in favor of a spirit of greater creativity and exploration.

Here are 6 Steps to Saner Holidays: Better Boundary Boosters 

1. Get Quiet and Meditate for Ten Minutes

This does not have to be complicated. 

A ten minute meditation where you close your eyes and turn off your phone is great. If you’ve been practicing meditation for a while (and see this post for some motivation about the benefits of meditation), you might visualize a boundary of golden light around you, or focus on heart-centered qualities such as equanimity or lovingkindness. If grounding is what you need, some gentle mindful yoga asana can be helpful.

The point is to keep it simple and to drop into presence as best you can. 

2. Take Some Time to Review Holidays Past

Now that you’re a bit more present, it’s time to look clearly at the past. 

Take some time to review holidays past and give yourself a chance to reflect. 

Where did you go? What did you do? Who was there? And who wasn’t? What did you spend? Eat? Drink? Consume? Regret?

While this review might bring up some emotion, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Indeed, our ability to experience joy, delight and wonder is directly related to our ability to feel all our feelings. So if you want those feelings, you can begin now to practice accepting the less comfortable ones, such as grief, sadness, hurt, and pain. Getting some support, from a therapist, coach or weekly group with accountability can be incredibly helpful, too. 

3. Identify What You Loved (and Didn’t) in Previous Years

Next it’s time to identify what you want to consciously co-create this holiday season. 

A great way to do that is to use a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and write down all the things you loved doing in previous holiday seasons. Similarly, take a few minutes to write down the stuff you hated. 

Did you love that time you spent with your college buddy attending Christmas mass at Il Duomo in Milan? Or was it the family gathering at your Uncle Leon’s house with your quirky (to put it mildly) relatives? Maybe it was putting up holiday lights and watching goofy rom coms in your PJs with your honey? Or baking your mother’s traditional holiday spanakopita to pay homage to the good times you shared with her when she was alive?

Also get clear on the stuff you didn’t like, or that perhaps no longer serves you.


Did you spend way too much money on gifts that harmed you financially when January rolled around? Or maybe you ate way too many sugary treats and felt physically horrible? Perhaps you travelled far away to visit folks and promised yourself you’d never do that holiday travel thing again? Or did you feel too exhausted in the New Year and wish you had just laid low and given yourself time to rest? 

Whatever it is, getting it out of your head and onto paper can be enormously clarifying. 

4. Next, Schedule the Activities You Love 

Now that you’re clear on the stuff you loved during holidays past, the fun part begins. 

Get out your calendar and start getting organized to do the things that nurture you. Do you need a few hours to hang lights? Block that time out. Craving a silent retreat to do something more meaningful for the New Year? Get on the website of that Buddhist monastery nearby and check out what’s available. Want to volunteer at the local food bank? Check out what their needs are that match your availability. 

The point is to be super clear and intentional with how you want to spend your precious time and other resources first, and not just falling into the path of least resistance. 

5. Pay Attention to the Pull of the Past and Communicate Clearly To Loved Ones Using “I” Language

The holidays can often pull us back in time.

Unmet expectations, grief, loved ones who are no longer with us, traumatic moments from childhood that were never processed (or acknowledged) and the ridiculously absurd pressure to have the “perfect” everything can be toxic. It can be easy to fall into childhood patterns of behavior, as well as codependency when we look to things outside of ourselves to feel ok.

One of the best antidotes to falling into old patterns is to practice using “I language” when communicating our needs to friends and family around the holidays. 

Maybe that sounds like, “I’d love to spend time with you this year but I really need to take care of my health and won’t be coming to the Cookie-Palooza this time. Could we meet up for a walk in the park instead? 

Or:

“I’m really focusing on getting my financial house in order and won’t be able to come visit for 5 days and bring gifts for everyone this year. But I’d really love to spend some time with you and to come sometime in March when fares are lower. Does that work for you?”

6. Take a moment to celebrate starting right now

Now that you’ve taken the time to get clear on what you want (and don’t want) this holiday season, take a moment to celebrate your accomplishment. Even if it feels awkward, it’s important to take time to appreciate the emotional and physiological states you want to cultivate in your life. This is an important somatic experience that can help you create more resilience over time.

If there’s anything the holidays can do for us, it’s to help us reflect on what truly matters and to create the space, time and opportunity to co-create experiences that we genuinely desire.

Try these 6 steps (with pen and paper) and explore how better boundaries - with yourself and others - might be just the booster you need this holiday season.

Three Tips for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet Again!)

Ever feel like there is way too much change going on in your life or the world? Like just when you get used to one big tsunami there’s another wave of transition coming right at you?

If you’ve been alive in 2021 in the U.S. certainly, you may be feeling this unending sense of anxiety and dread.

“What? Now we’re back to wearing masks again? They want us to come back to the office? I was just getting used to this working at home thing and I’m supposed to do what now? After all the juggling I just did, now I’ve got to maneuver it all around again? When the hell are things ever gonna just go back to normal?!?!”

I know plenty of folks who are making themselves sick and stressed because of the transition fatigue and overwhelm. They don’t have the right tools and information about how we work as human beings and they are burning out. 

Great news. It doesn’t have to be that way!

As someone who has adapted to and created a lot of change in my life, and who helps others do the same, trust me when I say this: not only can you ride out this phase of transition in your life, but you can learn the tools, skills and practices to help you be with change in a way that doesn’t make you overly stressed and sick in the coming weeks, months and years to come. 

‘Cuz guess what, dear one?

Change is here, it’s inevitable and it can be a really good thing. 

In this blog post, you’ll learn 3 things you can begin with right now to help you cope with transition fatigue and overwhelm.

1. Find ground

Remember old-fashioned cartoons? 

Where everything in the entire frame - the background, the farmhouse, the lake - is perfectly still except for Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck running around? When you watched that as a kid, you probably marveled at it and didn’t even notice that 95% of the screen wasn’t moving at all. 

That’s because we are wired to track changes and notice what is moving in our environment and visual field. When these changes happen at a pace our nervous systems can process, or within our window of tolerance, we are usually ok. 

But what happens when there are so many changes going on in your life and you don’t have the opportunity to process, assimilate and integrate them?  

That can be incredibly destabilizing and overwhelming. 

In fact, too many changes without enough stability can feel like chaos, and from a biological perspective that’s unequivocally true. 

(Plus they — even changes we like or have worked hard for - be terribly exhausting energetically, like a tax on the nervous system. So if that’s you, read on).

Trauma (or traumatic stress) can be defined as anything that overwhelms us and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond. (Click here for a much more detailed explanation for understanding trauma). Too many changes in too short a period of time can qualify. If, for example, you experienced a job change, a significant change in health, the death of a beloved pet and a global pandemic in the span of a year or two like a beloved client of mine - in addition to all the regular life stressors like paying your bills, having relationships and taking care of your mental health - you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself feeling overwhelmed. If you’ve had stressful situations growing up, you can multiply that impact by many fold.

So what can you do?

EXERCISE: Focus on what’s stable, unchanging and consistent right here, right now. 

For example, you could take a few moments to note everything that is grounding or solid for you right now. Maybe you can feel your bones, your heart beating or your breath - all elements that have been with you consistently since you were born. You could also bring your awareness to the chair, sofa or bed you are in right now, the ground beneath you, the stars and the moon in the sky above, or the predictable way your cat jumps on your lap the minute you try to get on a Zoom call. My private and group coaching clients know what a fan I am of also having daily and weekly self-care non-negotiables (something we talk about a lot) as the consistent elements in cultivating resilience. 

(Note: If you travel a lot or have an unpredictable work schedule, it’s even more important for you to take the time to get clarity on your daily non-negotiables, to communicate them when necessary to family and colleagues and to protect them fiercely. Mine include meditation, three meals a day, prayer, yoga, adequate sleep and connecting with my support system).

Now doing so won't necessarily affect the changes that are happening in your life. But it can very likely give you the shift in perspective that reminds you of all that you can count and rely on in this very moment. Even if you’ve had lots of disappointments or trying challenges in your life - as many of us have - by bringing your awareness to what is stable, unchanging and consistent right now, you’re giving yourself (and your resilient nervous system) a chance to recalibrate. 

2. Notice positive changes

Having lived in Europe for a good part of my life, I’ve always found it odd that Americans in general (warning: huge sweeping overgeneralization ahead!) are incredibly reluctant to talk about class and financial privilege. People are more likely to talk about their sex life than they are class and how it affects every area of our lives, including our mental health, relationships and well-being. 

But recently, I’ve noticed more conversations and discussions about class in mainstream audiences. When millions of people are strangled by student loan debt, often into the hundreds of thousands of dollars for people who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, it makes sense that more people are willing to talk about the implications of student loan debt on class mobility, status and the increasingly elusive dream of a middle class life.

That, in my opinion, is a very, very positive change in our culture. 

And that’s the second strategy I’d like to suggest you explore when you’re feeling overwhelmed by change: notice what has changed for the better in your life, community and the world around you because I promise you there is a lot.

EXERCISE: Identify and focus on positive changes

One simple way to do this is to set a timer for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, you start writing a list (bullet points are fine) of all the things that are better today for you than they were at some point in the past. Maybe you don’t have a 3 hour commute into the city for work or you’re finally able to walk after a devastating accident that left you nearly paralyzed. Or maybe you got a new lovable little critter during the pandemic that greets you when you come home. Or maybe your arms are finally strong enough so you can do bakasana (crow pose) or date online without your self-esteem being dragged into the mud with every dud. 

Broaden it out if you like and focus on changes in your community or the world that are in a positive direction. Like the greater participation of women in the workforce or greater equity, diversity and inclusion in some environments. (Or the fact that most Americans with access to clean drinking water, electricity and health care live better than Louis XIV did when he was King of France!).

It’s important to keep in mind that, even while changes are happening that feel terribly uncomfortable - or are even devastating and incomplete in some cases - good can often come from them with your intention and attention. For example, maybe you were in a toxic and abusive relationship and made a commitment never again to date someone who isn’t self-aware and willing to do the work. While it might not have been fun getting there, your new and improved sense of self-esteem is a huge win. Taking stock of these wins regularly by training your mind to notice and savor them (click HERE for more on understanding the mind and the brain for non-neuroscientists) can be hugely beneficial and will serve you greatly.

3. Seek spiritual inspiration 

Because of the negativity bias we all have as part of our survival make-up, it takes conscious, consistent effort to focus on things that inspire us and give us hope. That might be in the religion of your childhood, yoga, recovery or any other type of grounded, embodied spirituality that lifts you up. 

The important things spirituality can offer us are both, (1) an understanding and acceptance of the impermanence of all phenomena and (2) a way of being reasonably comfortable with uncertainty (for more ideas about understanding your spirit, check this out). 

EXERCISE: Get plugged in spiritually 

Perhaps that means you spend some time reconnecting with the faith of your childhood, reading spiritual or inspiring books (like Peace from Anxiety from my teacher Hala Khouri), listening to podcasts, joining a faith community or a group that lets you see others making positive, inspiring changes in their lives. If resources are tight, recovery communities offer hope and inspiration to millions of people looking to live better lives free of addictive patterns (remember, addiction isn’t necessarily drugs or alcohol, but can be any pleasurable behavior -- scrolling social media, porn, shopping, food, exercise, overworking, etc -- that persists despite adverse consequences). For some people, going for a hike in nature might give you perspective. For others, being part of a social justice movement - a positive, life-affirming sense of belonging to something greater than yourself  - can be hugely beneficial. 

Now that you have some ideas for coping with transition fatigue and overwhelm, what comes next?

You might be thinking: 

Ok I get these strategies, they seem useful. But how do I do this in my real life?

This is precisely what folks in the Mastering Resilience Group Coaching Program do each week. There’s a lot of nuance to applying these strategies and tips in your life in ways that you can engage with consistently. Support is required for you to try different things on. And then there’s the importance of loving accountability, when you make and keep different commitments to your self-care in a compassionate, authentic group setting. 

Want to try it out?

Check out the upcoming Community Support Call: Tools for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet again!) on Tuesday, August 31st from 10-11:30 am Pacific. For more details and to register for this FREE call, click HERE. 

The bottom line?

Change is an inevitable part of life, as cliche as that sounds. 

The good news is that by implementing these strategies you can begin to cultivate a more-balanced and easeful relationship with it. Change might never be your favorite thing (after all we are creatures of habit, routine and ritual) but at least you can begin to move out of the stress of resistance and overwhelm.

And that is something to celebrate!

Join the upcoming Community Support Call: Tools for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet again!) on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021 from 10-11:30 am Pacific. The call is FREE to join but you must REGISTER HERE to attend.