4 Ways Yoga Helps Trauma Healing

Research and anecdotal evidence both suggest yoga is beneficial for all kinds of things: physical strength, balance and flexibility, relief of neck and back pain, better sleep, and more.

What fewer people realize, is that yoga can also be a powerful ally in the healing of relational, shock and systemic trauma.

Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD, is a clinical psychiatrist whose work attempts to integrate mind, brain, body, and social connections to understand and treat trauma. He is the author of The New York Times bestselling book The Body Keeps the Score and writes:

When people think about trauma, they generally think of it as a historical event that happened some time ago. Trauma is actually the residue from the past as it settles into your body. It’s located inside your own skin. When people are traumatized, they become afraid of their physical sensations; their breathing becomes shallow, and they become uptight and frightened about what they’re feeling inside. When you slow down your breathing with yoga, you can increase your heart rate variability, and that decreases stress. Yoga opens you up to feeling every aspect of your body’s sensations. It’s a gentle, safe way for people to befriend their bodies, where the trauma of the past is stored.

In this video, I share just a few of the many ways yoga helps the healing of trauma.

4 Ways Yoga Helps Trauma Healing

1. Yoga can alleviate pain and discomfort in the body.

For many people, emotional pain can also be physically painful.

As Nikki Myers says, “Our issues live in our tissues.” Yoga can be extremely helpful to relieve some of that pain, especially if you are doing a gentle, trauma-informed yoga practice.

If you’re in severe grief or emotional pain – whether because of the death of a loved one, a break up, or the latest mass shooting – those 15-30 minutes on the yoga mat can be a blessing of (non-addictive) pain-relief. 

2. Yoga can reduce the physical tension in the body which often causes us to be reactive.

Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond. When we experience difficult events, our bodies produce a series of chemicals. If we are lucky enough to process the event and our big emotions in the moment, it often passes without leaving a long-term residue on our nervous system. 

But if there’s no time to process those big feelings - and discharge those chemicals - they often end up turning into the tension we experience in our bodies. Yoga helps us let go of the physical tension and the old emotions that can cause us to be reactive in our relationships, at work and in our public lives.

Feeling the feelings isn’t always fun, but for our long-term health and well-being it’s a must.

3. Practicing yoga can be a chance to learn about, cultivate and use boundaries.

When I went to my first yoga classes many years ago, I was definitely not a fan. 

I was comparing myself to everyone in the room and couldn’t keep up. I felt so awkward. It took me many years to find yoga that was my jam …

And what a teacher taught me was that, if i was in yoga thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow or next week, I wasn’t practicing good boundaries. That really got me curious. 

The invitation was to keep my focus on what was actually happening on my yoga mat. So I started to actually notice when something was causing me to take my attention from what was happening right there in the room.

This is so important because folks who experience stress, anxiety and trauma (and especially folks in the helping professions or people who are givers), often have boundaries that aren’t necessarily strong and healthy. Maybe we over give or over share and then feel ashamed we did that. Or we have difficulty saying no.

That’s certainly been part of my journey. 

So on the yoga mat (or chair), it’s a great chance to practice boundaries and keep coming back to what’s actually happening right here in the moment. As we practice bringing our awareness to our sensations, breath, thoughts and emotions that are on the mat, we are learning to cultivate boundaries. This is important because if our boundaries are intact, we can respond to the challenges of life in a much more proactive way and avoid becoming victimized again.

4. When practiced with mindfulness, it can be a way of learning about and accepting yourself exactly the way you are. 

If you compare yourself to other people - and are either the best in the room or the worst - you’re probably also lacking in self-compassion. Learning mindful self-acceptance is a huge game changer - especially if you are looking to change. 

Why? 

Because shame (a tool many of us use to whip ourselves into shape) never causes anyone to make sustainable long-term healthy changes. Let’s face it - if it worked, you wouldn’t be here reading this looking for another approach. 

So when we bring a spirit of non-judgmental acceptance of ourselves exactly the way we are, and truly practice self-compassion and self-acceptance, we can also be much more accepting and inclusive of others.

And a BONUS …. 

If you want to see the world become a place where there’s greater justice, equality, opportunity for all regardless of race, religion, gender, ability, class, sexual orientation, or any other element of identity, then you know compassion and acceptance of yourself is the beginning of compassion and acceptance for others. Among the best ways you can contribute to making the world a better place, is with self-acceptance and self-compassion. You’ve heard it said again and again but we truly must be the change we want to see in the world!

If you’re looking to transform stress, anxiety and trauma into resilience, I hope these four ways yoga can help will inspire you to take the self-care actions you need to thrive. After all, you deserve it!

Understanding the Mind and Brain (Part I)

When I was about 4 years old, my parents and I packed into the red Pontiac Grand Prix with the white pleather interior in New Jersey and drove to Disneyworld in Florida.

I was so excited.

Rather than loving it though, I’ll never forget the traumatic encounter I had with the park staffer dressed in a Goofy costume. While I was happy meeting Minnie and Mickey, for whatever reason, that dog freaked the hell out of me.

I burst into tears sobbing uncontrollably, which made for some very awkward Polaroids of me looking terrified. 

I’ve had to learn to focus on the good stuff that happened on that trip, but the inexplicable terror of the Goofy moment (along with the celluloid reminder) is something I doubt I’ll ever forget. 

Have you ever noticed that it’s far easier to remember the times you got scared, rejected, hurt or fired, than all the many times that things went well for you?

Why exactly is that?

In this 3 part blog series over the coming months, I’ll lay the groundwork for you to create more resilience to stress, anxiety and trauma by helping you understand this and how you work more broadly:

• Understanding the Mind and Brain (Part I)

• Understanding the Body and Trauma (Part II)

• Understanding Your Spirit (Part III)

How the Brain Works

Let’s say you’re anxious and stressed - a reasonable assumption for most people in 2021. 

What you might notice is that you are pretty much always focusing on what might go wrong. You have a decent day at work, but in bed at night, all you can do is obsess about that one comment in your boss’ email. Even though you’ve promised yourself again and again to put your phone away and to finally get to the stack of books by your bedside, you can’t stop reading and rereading his email worried if this means you’re going to lose your job and will have to move back in with your parents. 

That’s because of how the brain works to keep you alive. 

From an evolutionary biology perspective, this is a great idea. 

If your ancestors were out on the open savannah in the wild thousands of years ago and thought there might be a lion nearby, assuming it was true and getting to safety was far smarter than risking it and taking your chances. In other words, your ancestor who was sensitive to those cues was the most likely to pass down her genes and survive. 

The ancestor who ignored the signal and sat around sunning himself, however, might not have made it long enough to pass on his genes to you. 

The Negativity Bias: It’s Not Just You

Think back to your day yesterday. 

What was the worst thing that happened to you? 

An argument with your partner? Your phone died and you had to spend hours replacing it? Did you get yelled at by somebody in the grocery store parking lot? 

Or perhaps it was something far worse, like a cancer diagnosis, getting sexually harassed or the death of a loved one.

Regardless of what it is, I’d be willing to bet that, without too much effort, you can quickly and easily recall that worst thing that happened to you in the last 24 hours. 

That’s because of a built in negativity bias in our brains. When negative experiences occur, chemicals are produced in the body and brain that seem to almost “stain” what has happened into our memory. That’s because it’s a survival mechanism to keep us alive. 

Think about it from an evolutionary perspective. 

If you remember the worst thing that happened to you, at some level, you are going to be most likely to do whatever possible to avoid something like that happening again. It’s like when you’re a little kid and put your hands on the stove. It just takes one time for most kids to get the message: Play with fire? You’re gonna get hurt.

How Your Brain is Like Velcro

That’s why Rick Hanson, in his book, Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom (with Rick Mendius, M.D.; foreword by Dan Siegel, M.D.; preface by Jack Kornfield, Ph.D.) gives us a clear mnemonic that can help us understand how the brain works. 

The brain is like velcro to negative experiences, so we hold on to them as if for dear life. 

It’s why you remember how painful it was when the guy you dated after college hit on your best friend: so that the next time you meet someone like him (the subject of a whole other blog post), you don’t give him your number. Not necessarily a bad thing, right?

Why Your Brain is Also Like Teflon

Knowing that the brain has a negativity bias and is like velcro to negative experiences, how does the brain respond to positive experiences, you might ask?

Think of positive events or experiences as being like Teflon to your brain. The events will land on your brain, but very easily slide off, like the scrambled eggs my honey makes Sunday mornings while listening to the Baroque program on the local classical station. It’s the reason why so many things probably go right in your life and you don’t even notice them. Without conscious attention and focus, they slip right away.

So if you wonder why you remember more of the bad stuff and less of the good stuff, don’t worry. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you. You’re in exactly the right place with the right kind of human brain. 

And if you are breathing, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, there is more right with you than is wrong with you.

Neuroplasticity, the Triune Brain and Potato Chips

Understanding about how we interpret positive and negative experiences, it might be easy to feel hopeless. After all, if we are wired to focus more on the negative than the positive, and it helps us stay alive, what can we do?

The good news, in fact, is that there’s a lot we can do. 

In the past, conventional wisdom was that the structures of the brain were fixed and relatively immutable once we reach adulthood. Yet research in recent years has demonstrated that the brain is plastic and changeable throughout life. 

It also means that it can be strengthened in a number of ways that lead to positive outcomes (like less stress, better relationships, and more impulse control) especially when we understand the structure of the brain. 

One metaphor that’s helpful for thinking about the brain is the notion of a triune brain. 

The reptilian brain controls our autonomic nervous system functions. It’s the most primitive part of the brain and where the brain’s sentinel (the amygdala) alerts us to danger. It’s the fastest (but least accurate) part of the brain. The mammalian brain is the home of the limbic system, where our emotions and attachment behaviors are based. The newest part of the brain, or the cortex, is where our uniquely human functions are centered, where we appreciate art, justice, music, poetry, compassion, patience and other such qualities. 

When our brain is integrated, life goes more smoothly. For example, maybe you want to watch your salt intake because your blood pressure is a little high and you don’t want to take medication. Your rational brain is in favor of skipping the bag of salt and vinegar Kettle chips. But if you’re feeling anxious or afraid it’s going to be much harder to keep your hands out of the salty goodness. 

This you’ve seen a thousand times in yourself and others. 

I know I have.

How the Brain and Mind Influence Each Other

So how do we cultivate a more integrated brain? Is that even possible?

Yes, it absolutely is. 

One way is through mindfulness meditation, yoga and other activities which help strengthen the frontal cortex. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of the University of Massachusetts Medical Center’s Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, describes mindfulness as “paying attention, in the present moment, without judgment”. Many years ago I had the privilege of assisting him at a workshop he was leading on mindfulness in education at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, a deeply moving experience. It was inspiring how he was able to translate the practices described in classical Buddhist texts, and make them accessible to anyone anywhere who wanted to feel less stress and pain, particularly heroic teachers and educators. 

When we cultivate mindfulness, and train the mind, we also have an impact on the physical structures of the brain. In other words, simply by intentionally bringing your awareness over and over again back to the present moment, in functional MRIs you can see greater activity in those parts of the brain associated with better impulse control and emotional regulation. 

The result? 

Fewer unnecessary salty chips you never really wanted to eat to begin with. 

The Bottom Line? Shift Happens. 

In Rick Hanson’s words:

“The mind and brain interact with each other so profoundly that they’re best understood as a single, co-dependent, mind/brain system.” 

So when your mind changes, your brain changes, too. That is very good news indeed.

In an upcoming blog post, I’ll share with you specific simple practices you can do to begin the process of feeling and being more self-regulated. 

Mastering resilience to stress, anxiety and trauma to have a more meaningful impact in the world is possible. Understanding how your mind and brain work can be hugely helpful on your path to doing so. 

Want to create your most resilient and intentional year yet in 2021? Get the motivation, accountability and support you need. Check out the Mastering Resilience Small Group Coaching Program with social justice pricing. Applications are now being accepted. 

Why You Should Listen To Your Mother This Holiday Season

My recent visit to Walden Pond was a dream come true. I had always wanted to go scope out where Thoreau spent time in nature. Not only did I finally get to visit but it was even better to share it (on video) with a client having a private mindfulness retreat with me, too. Such a honot! 

I was lying in bed trying to read a book that early Friday evening when the voice in my head threatened to nag me to death:

Don’t get too comfortable in your cozy yoga pants! Yes, you’ve had a busy week and are tired, but you promised you were gonna go to this sound bath meditation tonight. If you don’t go, you’ll be a flake and nobody likes a flake. You’ve wanted to do this for so long, so don’t bail out now, ok? Come on. You always flake out like this at the last minute when it’s a commitment to yourself. When are you going to stop being such a fraud?

I kept trying to ignore the snarky voice in my head.

But it’s guidance seemed so sensible. So practical.

Isn’t it important to keep your word?

You’re just being lazy.

If you want to succeed in life, you can’t just bail out anytime you don’t feel like it!

Come on. No one trusts a flake!

My mind was working in overdrive to get me out of my snuggly blanket to head out into the chilly (ok, for Palm Springs it was cold!) night air.

But then, as if a cry from an animal across the forest, I heard a sound. It was actually a deep groan. My ears couldn’t hear it, but my heart could.

As I brought awareness to this presence, it became clear what it was: my body was saying no.

How many times had I ignored this soft, furry animal and demanded it conform to the expectations and demands of my mind?

Far too many to count here.

This sound though got my attention, and brought me back to a conversation earlier in the day with a client about the seismic shifts and earthquakes in our culture around the role of women today, and feminine energies in particular. How this much needed shift was coming after centuries of ignoring and reviling not just women, but just as importantly, the principle and energy of the feminine in our lives. And all of this to the detriment of women, men and the planet.

More than two thousand years ago, a sacred wound occurred.

Among others, the Ancients Greeks who revered the nous (or rational intellect) separated the mind and psyche - the traditionally masculine energies - from the messy body, intuition and emotions, the realm of the feminine. So many of the consequences that ail us personally, politically, environmentally and spiritually today are a result of that sacred split.

And that split is often represented in other spiritual traditions as well, including those from the east.

Even in mindfulness and Buddhist meditation communities, this split is easy to spot. It’s the meditator who is above everything and seems aloof, disembodied and rather cold, and who thinks he or she is making great spiritual progress; what’s commonly referred to as a spiritual bypass.

Buddhist psychologist, author and former monk Jack Kornfield writes about how common this is:

The near enemy of equanimity is indifference or callousness. We may appear serene if we say, “I’m not attached. It doesn’t matter what happens anyway, because it’s all transitory.” We feel a certain peaceful relief because we withdraw from experience and from the energies of life. But indifference is based on fear. True equanimity is not a withdrawal; it is a balanced engagement with all aspects of life. It is opening to the whole of life with composure and ease of mind, accepting the beautiful and terrifying nature of all things. Equanimity embraces the loved and the unloved, the agreeable and the disagreeable, the pleasure and pain. It eliminates clinging and aversion.

This is enormously helpful for re-balancing what we give importance to in our daily decision making: the mind or the body.

If the mind is associated symbolically and spiritually with the sky and the masculine principle, yang energy and aggression, it is only by bringing balance with the body, the feminine, the earth, yin energy and receptivity, that a true state of balanced equanimity and authentic vitality can occur.

For me, in that moment of trying to decide if I should go to the event or not, my mind was screaming that I should. But with mindful awareness of thoughts and sensations manifesting in the body, I was able to hear different guidance. This time from the body and what seemed to be mother earth herself.

Stay home. Rest. It’s ok.

The masculine energy of the mind and the feminine energy of the body were in conflict once again in me. And that’s when it hit me:

Here was my chance to take a tiny, but radical stance in favor of righting the imbalance on the earth of masculine and feminine energies. Rather than merely talking about equality and the importance of affordable child care, parental leave and equal rights for women, with this one small action, I could help to energetically shift the world into greater balance.

All of a sudden my decision to stay or go wasn’t about me being lazy, not keeping my word or being a flake. Framed this way, I was taking one small action to listen to the feminine principle of the earth. I could honor mother nature in my own body and make a decision from that place of listening to her, rather than continuing to allow my decisions to be solely dominated by the linear, rational mind.

The more I reflected on it in those terms, as a matter of balancing feminine and masculine energies through mindful awareness of the body and mind, the more excitement, empowerment and joy I began to feel.

Rather than feeling bad about myself because I was simply too tired to go out, I could see one moment as a radical act in favor of the kind of sustainable world I want to see.

A world where all men and women are valued equally.

Where the earth is cherished.

Where compassion for self and others determines our political policies.

It’s moments like this when I realize how important our mindfulness practices are. Not just for our own well-being, but for the consequences it has on the issues of environmental and social justice that matter to us most. How it turns us from passive witnesses of the daily headlines of sexual discrimination, to active participants in embodying something better and more truly sustainable.

I can’t imagine anything more important to think about this holiday season.

In invite you to think about what your body might have to say about your choices this holiday season. If you start to pay attention to it, by doing the body scan and other mindfulness practices for example, it will start giving you guidance.

A client who did a half-day mindfulness retreat with me on video while I was visiting Walden Pond recently was utterly surprised that, when she actually listened to her body, it told her exactly what she was feeling and what she needed.

Imagine asking your precious, furry, soft animal - the one that has been born witness to all of your experiences since you were born - what it wants this holiday season.

Whether it wants to go to your Uncle Leo’s for Christmas dinner.

Whether it wants to spend a small fortune on electronics that will be obsolete in a year.

Whether it wants to host New Year’s at your house (once again).

We have been taught to fear and control our bodies - God knows I spent decades trying to do so. That if we listen to them we will end up like wild animals, and do nothing all day but eat all the chocolate in the world, have deliciously hot sex and never go pick up the drying cleaning again. But that simply isn’t true, if you are genuinely cultivating mindfulness through moment-by-moment awareness of the present moment.

Perhaps you might start in this moment.

Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

Place your heart on your belly and simply observe the weight and warmth of your hand.

Notice your body rising and falling softly.

Stay here like this for 10 minutes.

And listen to anything it tells you.

It’s your friend after all. And it has been here, waiting for you, all along.

Want to learn how to apply this mindfulness of the body in your life this holiday season? Join us for First Fridays with Felina on zoom video this Friday, December 1st at 10 am Pacific. This interactive call is free but you must REGISTER HERE. 

How to Get Stuff Done and Have a Life

That feeling when you get the project done and have time for a relaxing trip to Newport Beach. 

Imagine a great long-term project lands on your desk. It’s an important creative opportunity for you to move forward professionally, one that could really help you advance and get to do even more of the kind of meaningful work that makes your heart go pitter-patter.

Imagine that you do the work on this project in a timely fashion during regular working hours, and still have a life. You get your work done in a relaxed and productive manner and take that weekend camping trip you’ve been wanting to go on for a long time, get to yoga, and have time for sleep, cooking healthy, eating right and intentional time with friends and family.

Now go one step further and visualize that, at the end of this project not only are you rewarded by a deep sense of personal accomplishment, but maybe a leader in your field notices you and wants to give you more challenging and interesting work, the kind you’ve been craving.

You become known as someone who has her act together, who works sustainably and has a life.

And because you are so skilled, you get more opportunities both for interesting work and for self-care.

And the virtuous circle spirals ever upward.

Fantasy?

Hardly.

These are the kinds of results the men and women I work with are experiencing.

Getting work done in an era where it feels like the work-cycle is 24/7 and where private time blurs into work time is a reality for most people today.

How often have you sat down to work on a project and found yourself shopping online for your favorite organic Greek olive oil or watching pop videos from the 80s on YouTube? (Duran Duran and The Smiths remain perennial favorites. Sigh.)

If you’re anything like me, far more times than you might want to admit.

So how can we get work done in a timely way when no one is creating external boundaries for us?

I absolutely LOVE the work I do and still it’s tough to stay on target and focused at times.

In the old days, back when the earth was cooler, people who went to work had a time-clock.

You punched in when you got there, and you punched out when you left. You knew that being there meant you were working and, consequently, you also knew when you weren’t at the office or the flower shop or factory floor you could rest and enjoy some leisure (unless you happened to be a woman, in which case you would start a second shift of work, but that’s for another blog post).

The point is that there was a clear start, a clear end and a clear intention: to get the job done and move on.

And while I am all for flexible working - indeed, I get to serve clients who live around the world thanks to the beauty of the interwebs - without external boundaries around work time, it is imperative we make those up on our own.

That’s where rituals come in.

People love rituals and we live in a world that desperately needs more sacred rituals. At a time when the institutions and organizations we once looked to for meaning, structure, order and purpose often fall short of meeting our real needs, it’s up to us to create those rituals for ourselves.

Think about how much you love your ritual of snuggling up to your fur baby or your honey and streaming videos on Netflix on a cold Sunday afternoon?

It’s the ritual, and the anticipation of the ritual, that makes it such a nourishing and enlivening experience (unless of course you got into a political fight with someone on social media that day, decide to get nasty with Ben and Jerry and things take a more sinister turn).

Research shows that rituals prepare the brain for certain types of activities, priming us for them and actually activating the process of getting our creative juices flowing. This is classic Pavlov.

So how can all this make your life better so you can go on that camping trip to the beach and get your work done?

The world of mindfulness offers us at least three suggestions.

• First, create a ritual around your work time by starting with setting an intention.

Before you turn on the computer, spend a few minutes to close your eyes, breathe and create a conscious intention around one or two things that are most important for you to accomplish in the time allotted (note: if you need to get 10 things done, repeat this process after you have completed - and they key word is completed - the previous tasks). A simple breathing meditation can be used to allow clarity to emerge from the busy mind, or you might want a meditation that focuses on helping you get clear on your intention (get my FREE downloadable audio meditations here). You might simply close your eyes, breathe deeply for 10 breaths and ask, “What is the most important thing I intend to accomplish today?” This meditation, as part of a regular mindfulness practice, will help you develop greater concentration and focus. (Yes, this counts: you don’t have to sit on a special cushion, wear patchouli and count mala beads in order to meditate - you can do it right in the office!)

• Next, when your mind is clear from your meditation, go straight into creation mode.

Write the report, the blog post, the new dish for your catering clients, the article, or presentation and - this is key - keep your email browser (and if possible your phone) off. This can be difficult to do in the beginning but the people that I’ve worked with who have done this have had incredible results in terms of less anxiety, greater focus, more productivity and greater creativity. The motto when sitting down to work (in most fields) can be as simple as this: Creation before consumption and communication. When you go right from a clearer post-meditation mind into creation mode, you are much more likely to have laser-like focus. So use it skillfully.

• Finally, once you have done the creating part of your work, only then open your email, phone, social media, etc to communicate and share what you have already created.

Once you have created what you intended to for that day’s work, you will already feel accomplished and good about yourself, so even if you do get a snarky email from someone, you will be much cooler and more even keeled when dealing with it. By cultivating mindfulness before your work session, research shows that over time you will also increase your emotional intelligence at work, empathy and have an overall much more positive experience of working with your collaborators.

It will also help protect your mind from the mind-suck that happens when we get on social media (and yes, it does happen to people who have meditated for years; you just get much more skillful and quicker at letting go of hostile political debates in the twit-o-sphere ;)).

With these three simple tips, I personally guarantee that, if you try them for one week and don’t feel more peaceful and productive I will gladly give you your money back.

(Or at least I will be willing to share with you my excellent recipe for roasted brussels sprouts that I made while writing this blog post).

Try it and let me know how it works in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you.